


More Dangerous Than The Tesseract

by LadySomething



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Capsicoul - Freeform, Gen, Humor, bro fic, gasoline, old fashioned ways of life, slightly domestic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-16
Updated: 2013-04-16
Packaged: 2017-12-08 15:33:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/763024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadySomething/pseuds/LadySomething
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil caught Steve in an awkward position... in the Avengers Tower's laundry room. This fic was written a month ago, very very un-beta (you have been warned).</p>
            </blockquote>





	More Dangerous Than The Tesseract

**Author's Note:**

> **Note** : This fic was originally written and published a month ago on my tumblr, http://ladyfangirlstockticker.tumblr.com/post/45602849480/phil-coulson-steve-rogers-in-more-dangerous-than-the
> 
> I don't own Marvel, I wish I did, but I don't.
> 
> This was intentionally was supposed to be a slash fic, but end up a bro fic. But I like it anyway. 
> 
> This was inspired by a 1941 educational short, [More Dangerous than Dynamite](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59HkjNDaMNE). I first saw this through [Rifftrax ](http://www.rifftrax.com/shorts/more-dangerous-than-dynamite)and thought it was an interesting plot for this fic.

In retrospect, this explains the occasions where Steve Rogers came out of a smelling like petrol.

His original plan was to make small talk to his childhood hero as a method of escapism after an hour of chewing Tony Stark out for his attempts at warping Peter Parker where he caught Captain America in the act. More likely Steve when he is out of his uniform, washing his casual clothes in gasoline. Yep, there’s Steve in laundry room of the Avengers Tower with an off-white basin full of his plaid shirts, beige trousers and Roxxon gasoline. There’s no mistaken gasoline with any other fuel. They both can smell that was filling the room. Steve didn’t say anything. Luckily, Phil was the first person who broke the silence.

“You were informed that the Avengers Tower have the technology for cleaning your clothes.” Phil said, maintaining his signature stoic face and gestured towards the many state-of-the-art washers and dryers behind him, the ones with too many options for washing and drying and blinking buttons that would confuse a man from the 1940s.

“I’m aware,” Steve replied, “But these clothes are required to be dry cleaning and I remember my mother always washes her clothes in gasoline.”

That makes sense… sort of. Phil can detect a hint of sadness in Steve’s voice when he mentioned his mother. “I see. Does every mother in your era do this?” He maintained his own voice from coming off as sardonic, only to be partially achieved.

Steve nodded. “Ma said it makes clothes cleaner and doesn’t shrink like soap and water.”

“Hmm.” Phil didn’t think in a million years that cleaning clothes in gasoline was a thing during Steve’s time. Thank goodness that Tony Stark or anyone else didn’t walk into this room or else they think of Steve as a nut case. The poor guy got enough grief as it is being from the bygone era.

“I’m going to talk to Stark to see if he can arrange a dry cleaning service for you. But for now, I’m going to take you to this dry cleaner that I know who will give you the service you need. There’s this Polish guy who does my suits pretty well.”

“But isn’t dry-cleaning places expensive?” Steve asked.

The Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. shrugged a little. “Depends on who you talk to or what dry cleaner you go to. But with gas prices these days, it’s a hell of alot better than washing your shirts in gasoline.”

Steve thought of it for a while with a nod, “Sure.”

“But first, let’s dispose this is a government regulated area.” Phil said as he pointing towards the basin full of gasoline.

“Really?” Steve said, “I always dump it in the sink.”

Phil tried not to look shocked by Steve’s series of actions, but instead he cocked one of his eyebrows. “How’s that working out for you?”

They heard the sound of explosion from a room above them followed by a few loud voices from Clint (uncharacteristically screaming like a little girl) and Natasha (yelling profanities in Russian) along with the faint sounds of a fire extinguisher and fire sprinklers. Phil remained calm while Steve shaken a little. Phil grumblingly sighs as he pinched the bridge of his nose with fingers.


End file.
